A Little Bit Of Empathy
by Malachite Aoi
Summary: A failed SeeD and a failed instructor find understanding in strange places under strange circumstances. Oneshot.


Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VIII and all of its associated characters, places, story line, etc. belong to Square Enix. Not me. So please don't sue. They're not mine, I'm just borrowing them. Oh how I wish I owned all those bishies!

A/N: This fic is more of an AUish OOC, "What-if" kind of fic between Quistis and Seifer. It takes place the night of the SeeD party. After Squall pretty much burns Quistis. This might be out of the cannon, so forgive me. I haven't played FF8 in a long time and I don't remember the finer points, but this is more of an exercise to get my writing chops in gear. Hope you enjoy.

I had never imagined that someone could be so cold.

That someone could care so little for the thoughts and feelings of others.

Yet I find myself still strangely drawn to the man behind those ice-blue eyes.

No, he's still yet a boy. He's yet to prove that he is man. To prove that he is a man, he must first prove that he is human.

That's something he cannot do.

Through my brief teaching career, I've learned that it takes all types to make the world go 'round. That there will be the loud, the brash, the shy, the quiet, and everyone in-between. Maybe that was his allure to me. He's a mystery I wanted to debunk. A puzzle I wanted to solve. I forgot, he is a student I was supposed to teach.

For the most part, I succeeded.

Look at him now, in his fancy SeeD uniform; a badge of the technical skills I've tried to instill in him. A mark of the natural ability he possesses. I tried to reach inside that being tonight, and I was quickly turned away. Another victim of his taciturn labyrinth.

Has he really never wanted someone to understand the way he feels? Has he really never cared about the burdens of those around him?

It must be nice, to live life so free of obligations to others.

I've failed as a teacher. I could teach him all the skills to become a SeeD, but I wasn't able to teach him not to be a machine. How can I teach him to feel when he won't even listen to a word I say?

I just want a little bit of sympathy.

And it was strange, that I found it in the last place I would look for it.

I was walking back to my quarters after my encounter with Squall. My pride hurt, and my chest burned with the tears I was holding back from having been so blatantly rejected. He made me realize that after all this time, I too was still a child, with no one to turn to. When suddenly a white coat flashed before me. It was Seifer.

Seifer looked at me sourly, he too suffered bitterness tonight. While everyone had been celebrating becoming a SeeD, he was left to contemplate his actions; and his failure - another time.

I think I understood his position. Being denied, time and time again.

"Evening, Seifer."

"Trepe."

He must have caught the look on my face.

"I heard that you're not an instructor anymore -- someone was talking about it while I was serving my punishment."

I bowed my head down. It seemed my disgrace would not end. First Squall, now Seifer? Who else would get the privilege of laughing at my misfortune?

shot a cold look at the boy in front of me, daring him to say something out of line. What had I left to lose? I was now just a SeeD, my position as a teacher gone, now reputation be damned.

"What of it?"

"Nothing. Nothing at all. Looks like we all pay our dues, in one form or the other."

"Those are bold words from a recently-failed cadet, don't you think?"

For a moment he narrowed his eyes hatefully at me; but seemed to master his emotions a second later.

"So what were you and puberty-boy doing out so late? Out to ruin your prudish reputation so soon?"

I would not rise to the bait.

"Nah, I know him. Better than one might think. He wouldn't like a girl like you. You're too much of a nag for a guy like him."

"Why don't you just shut up and get the Hell out of my way?"

"Bulls-eye."

"Look, flunky. I don't have time for your bullshit. So when you grow up, become a man, and maybe even pass a SeeD exam for a change, why don't you talk to me then?"

I shoved my way past him, but he clasped my arm as I stalked away.

"I understand you better than you think too."

I turned on my heel and shot him a look that might have killed someone less brave. Yet Seifer didn't even catch it. In a moment of earnesty, he had his face turned away from me, hidden in the shadows cast by the poor lighting in the corridor. When he finally drew his eyes back to me, all the malice in my look had died, as well as all the keen mockery and bravado in his.

"You know...sometimes you want something so bad that you forget just what it takes to really get what you want. And so you go and do stupid things and take stupid risks; just to try and see if you can attain your dream this time around. And maybe you come out alive and that's a pleasant surprise, but every time you survive and find that you're no closer to achieving your dream than when you first set out, it puts a chink in your pride. And sometimes living with that pride, with all those holes in it, starts to hurt more than dying. Starts to feel like your dreams are coming undone. Starts to feel like nothing matters anymore. Until you realize...that maybe, you're dreaming of the wrong thing."

All the angry tension in my body had left. Somewhere between his earnest stare, and the less-than-eloquent, but meaningful as Hell rant, I forgot what there was to be angry about. I could only think about the point of commiseration. We both knew the taste of rejection. We both knew the sting of a shot to ones pride. As he looked me in the eye, a flicker of emotion etched itself across his gaze. If Seifer wasn't so plainly what he is, I would have almost said there were tears collecting in his eyes. The first time, and last, I would ever come close to something so human.

"All I wanted, was a little bit of empathy."

"Well you've got it. And maybe for once, we get it."

Letting go of my arm, Seifer started off in the opposite direction. His boots clicking against the floor and echoing through the empty space.

"Seifer?"

He stopped, but didn't turn to look back.

"For what it's worth, when I'm not angry with you, I think sometimes...you have the potential to be a SeeD, if you really wanted to. I just...I just don't think it's what you really want...is it?"

He didn't answer me, thought I heard him mutter under his breath the words "Romantic Dream" as though it were merely an afterthought.

And I thought to myself;

Maybe I don't really want him. _No, you're lying when you say that_

Maybe I don't really want to understand him. _No, that's a lie too_

Maybe I don't really want to be understood. _You're getting a little closer now..._

Maybe all I really want...is a little piece of empathy.

_And you found it, if only for a moment_.

And I found it, if only for a moment.

One out of four. Not bad.

Maybe next time.

And maybe I can learn to want someone, who understands.

When we're not angry with each other.


End file.
